Four Fat Chicks -- Goldeneye: Rogue Agent Review

GoldenEye: Rogue Agent

Review by Old Rooster
January 2005

"The Name Is Bond, James Bond?"

What gift do you give a fellow who has lived almost seven decades and has a lot of stuff? Well, one of my favorite presents this Christmas, and one the wife had expected to likely be returned, was a boxed, 14-volume set of Ian Fleming's James Bond novels. It's been many years since I've read them, and seen the related films, so I've set about the exercise of beginning at the beginning, Casino Royale, reading the novel, then renting the related film. About five in at this point (From Russia with Love), I've developed a renewed appreciation for Fleming's writing, with Moonraker ranking as my favorite thus far.

However, and it's a major "however," what has not been at all impressive is the translation of these works to film. Indeed, most of the Fleming-related Bond films were released after his death (Fleming's, that is; Bond can't die), and I have to believe Mr. Fleming would be mightily displeased with the outright butchering of some of his finest work.

You can see where I'm headed, can't you? GoldenEye: Rogue Agent uses the franchise to offer up a new character, an evil, or at least morally confused, "00," sort of an unfunny Jimmy Bond, if you remember your Casino Royale film. It often appears as if our traditional 007 hero has or is about to step over a moral boundary. Well, this 00 agent has really crossed the line, and he is let go to find some other kind of work. His introduction to this new life first comes in the person of our old acquaintance, Auric Goldfinger, who finds a place for this deadly ex-agent. Indeed, his "work" doesn't have to change much at all. Goldfinger is in a pitched battle with Dr. No and is able to outfit our man with many of his old tools of the trade, including an ingenious "golden eye," enabling all sorts of deadly aggressive tactics.

Let's Hear it for P. Galore, X. Onatopp and Oddjob!

A few of our favorite book and film characters make appearances, but these are largely token window dressing. Rather, the storyline, if one can call it that, serves primarily as a setting for a shooter with a gimmick. You move through the rather dull levels armed with a host of weapons, one in each hand even! This is called a "dual-wield weapon system"—good grief! Of course, as all good shooters require, there is an assortment of guns of various shapes and sizes. But the frosting on the cake becomes the increasingly powerful accouterments to your golden eye. Upgrades are available, depending on how good your kill rate is, ranging from seeing through walls to manipulating electronics, deflecting bullets and sending enemies flying (cf. PSI abilities of Second Sight). Deathtraps of various types abound, as well as nicely controlled A.I. baddies taking pot shots. Thank goodness, you do have the infrequent occasion to rest a bit, which automatically regenerates your health.

The graphics are fine, as is the framerate, with the cutscenes being mundane and not especially motivating. Sound effects and voice acting are well done, with some voice overs, such as that from Christopher Lee, especially pleasing.

Controls are workable but cumbersome for this old guy. I still prefer my shooters to be on the PC, with good old mouse management. Save points are close and frequent enough to enable not as much repeating after dying as in many titles.

This GoldenEye Lives up to the Term "Rogue"

GoldenEye: Rogue Agent is the most disappointing game I've played in a few months—and I play a lot of games! It's shallow, empty, tedious, rarely involving or interesting. The fired 00 character is one I could not care less about, he hardly ever speaks, and little about him is revealed. Interactions with famous Bond film/book personages are infrequent and meaningless. Levels have different backdrops, but all are essentially run-and-gun within a linear dime-novel storyline.

Unfortunately, the "golden eye" gimmick doesn't begin to save the game. A much better job of PSI-ing is done in Second Sight, along with a dramatically better and more involving story. As a Bond game, this GoldenEye doesn't begin to compare to the excellent 007: Everything or Nothing. Playing nasty is a lot of fun in such games as Evil Genius and Chronicles of Riddick, but it offers no satisfaction in this effort.

If a rogue is one who doesn't fit, doesn't mesh, doesn't belong, than GoldenEye: Rogue Agent is aptly named. It's not really the Bond world, in spite of famous names. This anti-hero is a cold-blooded killer who makes me want to root for the other bad guys. The Bond license, gimmicky shooters, even hitmen are all shown to much better form in many other games. I simply can't recommend GoldenEye: Rogue Agent, except, perhaps, to one who simply has to have every "Bond" game, or every shooter. Might one suspect that the holiday-timed release of this humdrum game, with its implied relationships to Bond, GoldenEye of N64 fame, and Bondian characters, was a cynical marketing decision? Of course not, I wouldn't think that. On second thought, yes, I would.

What I Liked About the Game